Kanya – Daan – the ritual of “gifting your daughter away”.

 

In the rich tapestry of Hindu wedding rituals, Kanya-Daan stands out as one of the most significant yet controversial practices. The term “Kanya-Daan” translates to “gifting away the daughter,” a ritual where the father of the bride symbolically hands over his daughter to the groom. This practice, deeply rooted in tradition, has sparked intense debates about its relevance and implications in contemporary society.

The origins of Kanya-Daan can be traced back to ancient texts like the Manu Smriti, which dictated the social and moral codes of Hindu society. According to these texts, a woman was always under the guardianship of a male figure—first her father, then her husband. This notion of male guardianship was deemed necessary for a woman’s protection and well-being. However, this also implied that women were seen as dependents, lacking autonomy and agency.

During the Kanya-Daan ceremony, the father places his daughter’s hand into the groom’s, entrusting him with her care and well-being. This act is accompanied by prayers and blessings, invoking divine favour for the couple’s future. Proponents of the ritual argue that it symbolizes the father’s love and trust, as he hands over his most precious possession to another man who will cherish and protect her.

Despite its sentimental undertones, Kanya-Daan has been criticized for perpetuating the objectification of women. The very idea of “gifting” a daughter implies that she is a possession to be transferred from one man to another, rather than an individual with her own identity and agency. This perspective is increasingly at odds with contemporary values of gender equality and women’s empowerment.

In today’s world, where women are breaking barriers and asserting their independence, the notion of Kanya-Daan seems archaic and regressive. It raises uncomfortable questions: Why is it acceptable for a father to “hand over” his daughter, but not his son? Why is a woman seen as something that can be given away, while a man is not? These questions highlight the inherent gender bias in the ritual.

Supporters of Kanya-Daan often emphasize its beauty and emotional significance. They argue that it is a cherished tradition that brings families together and marks the beginning of a new chapter in the bride’s life. Pundits and religious scholars endorse the ritual, viewing it as a sacred duty and a way to honour the bride’s parents.

However, it is essential to recognize that the same pundits who endorse Kanya-Daan also supported other regressive practices like Sati, the ritual of a widow self-immolating on her husband’s funeral pyre. This historical context calls into question the validity of their endorsements and highlights the need for critical examination of such traditions.

As society evolves, so too must our traditions. While it is important to honor and respect cultural practices, it is equally crucial to question and reform those that no longer align with contemporary values. Kanya-Daan, with its implications of ownership and transfer, is one such tradition that warrants re-evaluation.

In conclusion, Kanya-Daan is a complex ritual that embodies both deep cultural significance and problematic gender dynamics. By engaging in thoughtful dialogue and embracing progressive values, we can honour our heritage while fostering a more equitable and inclusive society.